
Day Three – Lone Wolf
While I really need to cut down on curse language – tonight I am tired as fuck!
I get home after work and lay my head down. I close my eyes but keep my mind slightly active to prevent sleep from taking over. I relax the tension. Some time later it’s time to go.
Socks on, shirt on, jeans and belt. Late nights and early mornings don’t go hand in hand. I override emotions and just move. I got my coat on, car keys in hand – a look in the mirror reflects back a poor image of a sleep deprived man. It’s all perception right? I stand tall and head out.
It’s nearing 10pm, I’m on foot and nearing the venue – so far not a peep from Banker. I call him – no answer. I get to the venue and still nothing. I haven’t eaten and with only Mc Donalds in sight, reluctantly, I head there to fill up.
Banker calls, he’s stuck at dinner for another hour. What a fuck up. He invites me along as they have a spare seat but it’s already late. I don’t have time for this and decide to go it alone.
It’s student night. I can actually smell students in the air: a weird mixture of tacky excitement and cheap drinks. I feel old and creepy. I ‘creep’ around the place on my lonesome. Luckily last nights experience helps a little and I console myself, knowing that no one will know or care that I’m on my own.
After a few too many laps creeping around the main floor I bite the bullet and introduce myself to two girls at the bar. Congrats to me. Vibe and chat was friendly. I bounce and search for more. I open another two set with similar vibe but more confidence. I can feel myself warming up and I relax. I have a couple of redbulls to awaken my spirits.
I go up one level in the club and move into another room with music more inline with my nature. On a packed dance floor my lonesome feeling comes back. How random am I, dancing on my own? I stand at the side and clap my hands together loudly to jump start my state. A nerd like guy seated next to me looks over at me like I’m a nerd – heh.
Amongst the crowd I see a stunning Asian (brown) girl in a blue dress. She’s seemingly only with one other girl. They make their way to the middle and start dancing. I chicken out on initial approach and choose to leer from afar. “That’s for me” I think to myself confidently before I run off to the bar like a coward and introduce my mouth to a coke & lime. Fucking chode.
I do a few more journeys around the club, going from level to level but always returning to the floor with the cool music. I see the blue dress girl again. Some coolish tall black dude with a spaghetti-like afro is chatting to her on the dance floor. I ignore the scene and introduce myself to some Russian chick , the only way I know how:
“Hi I’m AJ..” I say whilst giving her my hand to shake. She holds my hand and I pull her towards me. Close.
“Can you dance? I need a dance partner”. She shrugs a ‘maybe’. I lead us to the floor.
I note she is with a little short fatty and in an attempt to disarm the little one and prevent any attempts of classic cock-block attacks I get her involved. I think this worked against me as the Russian chick did a back turn at some point possibly thinking I was more interested in the little one… NOOO!!
Roughly around the same time as the Russian was doing her back turn the blue dress girl walked pass-by. Go time.
I push through a few people and offer my hand. I repeat my super tight introduction. “Hi, I’m AJ”, Blue girl looks at me with her amazing eyes, stunned. She seemed really frightened and shy?
We dance. She barely moves, like she has no idea what to do. No emotion and lacks excitement. It was difficult to know whether she was doing this due to my poor game or because she is actually boring. If I hold her hand or move her around she doesn’t resist – but in the same sense she doesn’t reciprocate.
Amidst the dancing and calling her lame I pick her up and dropped her back on her feet – this momentarily excites her but she soon reverts to ‘lifeless fish’ mode. I ask her to kiss me – part testing her reactions… She unsurprisingly declines.
I push on and ask why. “Because I don’t want.. I’m sorry”, WTF… why apologise? Regardless, I didn’t let this phase me – recalling a story from RSD Alex and his 20 attempts at escalation before finally reaching make out heaven.
I continue dancing and teasing her with push pull antics but eventually I get bored and self eject. Part of me felt she was just dancing for company while her mate was having fun with some other dude. Who knows?
During these series of events I’ve been keeping up to date with Banker over text. He was now very late and on the verge of not turning up at all. I text him back telling him he was a fuck up and to sort himself out.
I head outside for some air and potential of a smoke, though I’d run out of cigs and the venue wouldn’t let me leave and come back. A mate calls me so I stand in a clearing of the smokers area on the phone. As I put the phone down I notice a group of girls I’d seen earlier but hadn’t approached.
One in the middle is looking my way whilst mouthing something to her mate. I make a confused expression; she turns and asks if I’m single. All of a sudden I’m surrounded by 5 girls all talking at once. One, in particular, from Israel, who spoke at the speed of light.
Somehow I introduce the idea that I am gay into the conversation – for the first time this manoeuvre backfired and they start suggesting gay guys I should hook up with. Normally I use this line to gauge interest. It’s perhaps a weak method of doing things but a funny one.
After a lot of commotion, picture taking and a free half of a cig off one of the girls, they go back inside.
Just as they leave Banker shows up. We chill inside and discussed our experiences of the evening before calling it a night.
This was my first real experience of going out alone.
Tags: Nights out



