Lazy Smart Robot

Thursday 7th August 2008

17th Challenge: Another coffee date. Same as yesterday but this time you have to make it clear that you find her attractive. Declare sexual intent.

This is a long and emotional post!

I’ll start by describing the end of the day which did not involve the challenge but rather is a personal reflection of where I am now at with the whole confidence thing.

After-Thoughts:

After completing today’s challenge I joined my work mates on a night out. I was in good spirits having completed today’s task. We journeyed from a pub to a bar where I found myself sticking close to my group and not interacting much with outsiders. I knew I could if I wanted to but I felt I was happy not doing so and just enjoying the company of my friends.

I was standing with two friends who I would class as ‘naturals’ with women. I’ve never seen them approach girls – as girls tended to approach them. A girl approached the three of us. Apparently one of her friends was interested in one of us. Me!

The three of us bantered with the girl who approached our group and left it at that. Honestly I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation. Personally, I didn’t find the girl who fancied me overly attractive and so wasn’t inclined to go over and talk to her – though part of me wanted to. My mind was torn between thoughts of fear of what my peers would think and general feeling of not really liking her. I didn’t want to give in to the ego boost of receiving such attention.

We later moved to a club and again I was happy just dancing and hanging with my friends. One of the two alphas had girls approaching him constantly on the dance floor. The girls would just linger around us and then at the first chance they would leap forward to talk to him. I looked upon this in awe and hoped one day I would be in such a position.

Another work colleague of mine who knows of my involvement in game and this demonic confidence challenge made comment several times that he ‘knew’ that I was jealous of the alpha guy and how girls kept approaching him. Personally, I wasn’t thinking about it this way.

I later pulled him aside at the end of the night and asked why he kept making those comments. I didn’t really care but agreed that I did admire that alpha guy’s trait. Then, he suggested I approach some girls. I declined. I wasn’t feeling up to it. All of a sudden fear set in. I was no longer NOT caring.

My confidence in self had vanished!

Later, I reluctantly agreed to do some approaches. I couldn’t talk. Fear had gripped me. He approached a two set. I stood to the side for a while then went in to wing and speak to the other girl. I was too self conscious and lacking enjoyment. The girl walked away. My colleague approached another girl and I found myself standing alone.

A cute girl walked passed. I called her over but again lacked self enjoyment, which resulted in lame forced speech. I wasn’t having fun. I turned away from the girl after the conversation died and stood for a while thinking ..WTF .. after all this, 17 days of confidence building I have nothing to show for it!

Dejected, I left the club and sat on my own thinking for a while. A totally poor end to the night. Complete blow out of confidence. I was angry- having put so much effort into all this and feeling like I achieved nothing. Was I destined to a life of low confidence and dating mediocre girls? Not good.

I’m not a quitter though and I have decided to complete this challenge despite this occurrence; I will carry on.

The Challenge:

As for today’s task. I split from work and headed into central London. I knew of a coffee place located in a fashion shop. There was bound to be tons of girls and indeed there was. However, there weren’t so many in the coffee shop area.

Regardless, I bought an iced coffee and found myself sitting alone with a single girl on either side. Nervous nerves were strong and public fear in play. One of the girls got up and left. Not to be defeated I quickly asked the other girl if I could join her for a bit. She was just getting up to leave and declined. Bugger!

Then a ray of sunshine as another girl walked past with some food and headed for the table next to me – I grabbed this opportunity and asked to join her. She gave me a weird suspecting look given my spontaneous request– I didn’t react.

She agreed and sat a fair distance from me. I made some small talk. Managed to throw in there that I thought she was sexy but jokingly disqualified her for not being rich. We talked some more and I later said she was sexy again. She stated that she had a boyfriend. I glazed over the subject. I’m not sure if this was sufficient for the challenge but given her reaction it must have been clear to her that I liked her.

She finished her meal, thanked me for the chat and went to leave. I went for a number close – she declined saying her boyfriend was a psycho. I settled for a facebook friend. We exchanged names and went on our separate ways. Job done.

It’s clear that I have confidence to do the challenges but currently lack whatever factors it takes to seduce girls. The question now is will I be able to approach girls on my own accord and not rely of the direction of the tasks.

Only 3 more days of the challenge left – perhaps I will have to repeat the whole thing again in future – But it’s been an tiresome and enduring 17 days so far- I’m not sure id ever want to do it all again. What am I missing? Surely I should be 80% of the way there by now and yet somehow I feel I have a much longer journey ahead of me.

Hmm.. enjoy the bad times, without them there wouldn’t be any good times. I have to push through!

(3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)

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Tags: Demonic Confidence